I hate you.

Strong words, aren't they?  Simply by reading the heading of this entry any number of possible reactions may occur.  That tingling feeling behind your ears, the sinking, burning sensation in your chest... "is he talking about me?" you ask yourself, whoever you are.  

No, of course I am not referring to anything specific.  The thought came to me during my morning exercise routine down the Panther Hollow Trail (Upper).  A few days ago a friend had been chatting with me online and brought up his view that I came off (to him) as a fairly "negative nancy" (his words).  Now, endeavoring to rectify this false impression, I attempted to discover the heart of the matter and investigate the elements that caused this perspective to develop.  

"Well, what do you like?" he asked.

I was swift to point out that if I were able to list only the things I favored in this world my point of view would by default be excessively negative.  That is, of course, if one were to assume that anything that didn't make the list were automatically cast into the "dislike" category.  That's when it hit me - as is standard in this world the misconception comes from the assumption of extremes.  That is, if you don't like something that means you dislike it, or hate it.

Hate, of course, is much to strong a word for my taste.  Anyone who really knows me understands that (while I phase through the occasional dark period) under my dry and sarcastic exoskeleton is a guy who "walks the middle path".  I try not to concern myself with hating anything, due to the fact that hating something requires effort and energy put toward that end.  Now, that statement isn't put forth in an effort to arouse confusion or further misinterpretation by associating that attitude with apathy.  What I find most people are unable to grasp is that an opinion needn't be consciously rendered about everything, if one chooses to place whatever it is outside of his sphere.  

We had been discussing musical theatre, a genre of music that I admit I am not partial to, when he asked "well you hate musicals right?"  Much confusion ensued when I explained I didn't hate them at all but when confronted by the follow up question "but you don't like them?" no satisfactory compromise of values (beetween hate and love [odi et amo]) could be reached.  I guess the best example would be to ask someone if they "like" or "hate" something utterly disconnected from their existence... 

i.e., "do you hate wax paper?"

"No."

"Then you like it?  Do you like wax paper?"

"What?  I don't know, I don't not like it... I've never thought about it before,"

Aha!  Therein lies the rub.  The obsession people have with assessment and assigning values to things be they concepts, objects, aesthetics... now that I've got you thinking about something as trivial as wax paper, the pressure to decide whether or not you like or dislike it, overlooking the question of whether or not you even use it or come into contact with it is nearly overwhelming.  Even later, you are walking down the street or catching up with a friend over coffee and the thought erupts into the conversation like "Christian asked me if I like wax paper earlier, what the hell?"

"Well?  What did you say?"

"I dunno, I mean, who cares about wax paper?"

"Yea, I hate that guy."